One of my favorite things about the blogging community is getting to know other women. I love how blogging gives me a glimpse into their thoughts, their hearts, and their day-to-day regular old stuff.
Connecting with people makes me feel alive, and I sometimes feel like I connect more when reading someone’s heart poured onto the page of their blog than I do in person over a cup of coffee where it’s easy to stick to small talk or light-hearted catching up.
I usually want to pour my soul out the minute we have our lattes in hand, but that just isn’t how it usually goes. We are all fighting our own battles and have our defenses in place. It feels vulnerable to let our “messy” out and I think we feel like we are “too much” for the other person.
Blogging allows us to sit alone and pluck our hearts out onto the keyboard. To share things we might feel too awkward to share face to face. The writing process can even help us figure out what the heck we are feeling. I bet the great authors felt the same way as they sat by candlelight with quill in hand :)
I love when bloggers take the risk to share from their hearts. To lay out whatever it is they are dealing with. In raw terms, without apology. It encourages my own heart to be more honest. It makes me feel less alone.
Lately I’ve come across a slew of vague and poetic posts in the blogosphere. I love beautifully written words as much as the next gal, but sometimes I feel like I’m wading through murky waters. I hear the pretty sounds of each word carefully crafted, but I cannot decipher the heart of what they are sharing.
Not everything in life is poetic. Sometimes it’s just messy.
Turning it into a poem doesn’t make it beautiful. Does it?
Maybe I’m missing something.
But after a hard day with my girls or my husband or my thoughts, I cannot just frame everything in pretty words and call it beautiful. Sometimes I have to grieve it. Offer it up to God in crude terms.
Or, if I’m really brave, and it isn’t something sacred that should be kept to myself, I will spill it here.
Some may call that narcissistic, but often the struggles aren’t pretty and don’t bring glory to me. If they can bring glory to God though, I’m game.
At the end of the day, I want to feel deeply known. I want my soul to bump into someone else’s, resulting in us both feeling cared for.
I guess I’m wishing these other writers would just say what they’re thinking. In plain, messy language. That a dance party in the living room wouldn’t appear to be the solution to what ails them. That framing things in beautiful words doesn’t make life easier.
But ultimately, I have to realize the connection I’m so desperately seeking can really only be fulfilled in my relationship with God. Only He can know me as intimately as I want to be known. Only He fully understands my heart and dreams and fears. Only He can make me feel whole.
To put that burden on anyone else just isn’t fair.
No matter how wonderful my husband or BFF is, they just cannot meet the deepest ache of my heart.
Oh how I sometimes wish they could!
Once in a while I get a taste of deep connection, and it’s a delicious reminder that heaven will meet all these needs. One day I’ll live in perfect relationship with God and everyone else.
And it will last for eternity.
Isn’t that encouraging?! Our scrambling to know and be known is only temporary. Talk about a great sense of hope!
Deep connection won’t always feel so elusive. It won’t always be so difficult.
One day the good will be so good that the bad will seem like a distant shadow chased away by the morning sun.
That’s a line from the Jesus Storybook Bible. It’s the hope we have in what God says is already finished. We just need to believe it. When life seems too hard. Too dark. Too messed up. Too painful. Hopeless.
We can remember that love wins. At the end, the work of Jesus on the cross and the goodness of God will win the day.
He knows that.
We need to remember.
It’s not about what happens here. It’s just not.
Even though that’s all we see. We think this is our eternity and it’s not.
My wise mentor once told me that this life is a training ground for ruling and reigning in heaven and OHMYGOSH that made it all feel so much more worthwhile! The seemingly haphazard crap we go through here is molding us into the image of our savior. It’s smoothing our rough edges and transforming us. It’s preparing us for heaven.
Eternity starts right now.
That makes me want to get up out of the fog and live like it. No more waiting, just trusting that God has everything under control. Submitting my will to Him and cooperating with all that He is doing around me.
It feel so daunting. I don’t feel equipped or capable. It makes me want to just forget it and live like this life is all there is.
And then I offer all of that up to Him. I admit that it is daunting. I am not equipped or capable.
But He is.
And He won’t leave me hanging.
Talk about Good News!
connie Meyer says
AMEN!!! Enjoy reading your posts!!!
Laurie Kroll says
Beautiful Rebecca! and sooo true…