A Letter To My Littlest

Dear Baby,

I wanted to take a few minutes to tell you how excited I am about you.

This time around I haven’t been making a big “fuss” about my pregnancy.  I’ve kept it a little closer to the vest.

That is not because I’m not excited.  Quite the contrary…

It’s because I’m overwhelmed with joy at the idea of you being knit together inside me, and I can’t even find the words to express it all, so I’ve just enjoyed keeping it mostly to myself.

I’ll always remember the day Daddy and I waited excitedly to see if the pregnancy test I took was going to show the two lines we were so very much hoping to see.  We hovered around the sink in our tiny bathroom, willing ourselves not to look over at the test sitting by the window ticking down the two-minute wait time.

When we couldn’t stand it any longer, I grabbed it and held it behind my back.  I was almost too nervous to look at it.  We were so ready to bring another sweet baby into the world.  Even though we don’t know you, we were so ready to bring YOU into the world.

After smiling and wiggling in place while staring daddy in the eyes, I finally pulled it out from behind my back so we could get a good look at it.

There they were.

Two beautiful lines :)

We were overjoyed and grabbed each other in the biggest hug you can imagine!  A whole new life was beginning and a special new person was being added to our family.

We have been overwhelmed by how much your big sister Grace has changed our lives and made our world so much happier.  We know that you will do the very same thing and we have to practically pinch ourselves to make sure this isn’t all just a wonderful dream.

This time Grace will get to experience all of this happy change with us, and I’m so excited to watch that happen!

She is going to be a great big sister and I just know you are going to love her and she is going to love you and you are going to be such a blessing to our little family.

We talk about you every day.  I talk about you with Daddy.  Daddy talks about you with me.  I talk about you with Grace.  Grace points to you in my belly and lately she gives you kisses and says “hi” to you in the sweetest little voice.

I think about you all the time.  I feel you moving inside me and I can’t help but smile.  I’m so excited to meet you and welcome you into our life.

People often think that the first baby gets the most attention and excitement, but that’s not true.  Not for us anyway.

When we found out we were having Grace we were very excited and we called everyone up to tell them about it and we posted about it on Facebook and blogged about it and it was a big deal.  There was a lot of hoopla and excitement for sure.

From the outside it may look like there was more of that with Grace than with you, but that is not the case.

It’s just different.  It’s special in its very own way.

The joy and excitement that I feel about you is so very deep.  I almost ache inside because I haven’t even met you and I’m already bursting with love for you.

I know what having a baby is like, so I’m able to relish each day and not hurry it along.  I’m not as worried about little things.  I have so much more peace.  I know how amazing it’s going to be to bring you into the world and I can’t wait.

I have been a mother for two years now.  I’ve made mistakes and I’ve had victories and I’ve learned so much along the way.  Your sister is paving the way through all of that and she and I have a special connection because we’re doing this for the first time together.

You and I have different connection.

I feel ready this time.  I can’t wait to sweep you up into my arms and care for you with the confidence of one who has walked the road before.  I won’t be perfect because as much as we mothers try to be, we never are.

But I will be seasoned.

I will look into your beautiful eyes and I’ll know you.  I’ll have an idea of what each phase is like before we get to it, and I’ll be excited to see how you are different than your big sister at each point along the journey.  I won’t stress out as much and I won’t rush things.

As a second baby, you get an extra dose of fanfare because it’s not just Daddy and I who get to love on you and delight in you each day.  There are three of us who are excited to spend each day with you, to teach you, to love you and to watch you grow.

For now we wait.  We pray for you every single day.

And we love you so very, very much.

xoxo
Mommy