Today is the day.
The one I’ve been waiting for just about as long as I can remember.
As soon as I stopped trying to please my father by pursuing some kind of incredible career, I knew that I wanted to be a stay at home mom (SAHM).
I guess I knew even before then…
My mom was a SAHM for the majority of my life. She loved taking care of us kids, the house and my dad.
It wasn’t a chore. It wasn’t something she had to do. She honestly loved it and it showed.
Sure we were poor because my dad never kept a job very long and my mom chose to stay home with us rather than enter the workforce, but it never mattered. As a young girl I watched a mother who woke up excited every day to spend time with my sister, brother and me. She made us breakfast, lunch and dinner while maintaining a spotless home. She baked and gardened and shopped the sale papers like a pro.
Watching her love of homemaking instilled that same love in me. I knew that someday I wanted to take care of my family the way she took care of us.
I wanted to clean and decorate my home to make it a haven for my family. I wanted to try new recipes and make delicious food everyday for my husband and children. I wanted to keep my house clean and tidy because I saw how peaceful it made things amidst the chaos of my life growing up.
School was my thing. I did well and earned excellent grades. After graduating early, I got a jump start on college and even managed to snag a full scholarship to the university I call my Alma Mater. Go Warriors! (said no one ever) LOL.
As a young woman with a promising future in the working world, I focused my energy on finishing college and getting a good job. There were thoughts of grad school (because I thought it was expected of me) but life had other plans and I put graduate school on hold with the hopes of becoming a SAHM early in my marriage.
Again, as life would have it, plans changed. I had to keep working because our life just didn’t feel stable enough for me to stop working to start having children. Andy was on his long path of figuring out his dream but hadn’t gotten there and I was the one bringing home a good chunk of the bacon.
It would be a long time before Andy decided to go to medical school, took 3 years of pre-reqs and ultimately got accepted to his first choice school.
But now? Looking back on all those years…
I’m SO INCREDIBLY GRATEFUL that we didn’t give up. We kept moving forward even when it felt impossible. Even when we questioned whether it was the right thing for us. Even when other people hinted that there might be a better path. We pressed on. We knew there would be a victory at the end if we just kept putting one foot in front of the other.
And today, even though I know we are just beginning a whole new journey that could be even tougher than the one we just completed, I feel like I’m living in a dream.
The dream I always had of taking care of my husband, children and home. It’s just day one and even though I’ve only packed a lunch, weeded the gardens, played in the baby pool, tackled the laundry and blogged during nap time, I feel like I’ve arrived.
I can’t wait for all the days to come :)
|You can’t imagine how excited I was to pack Andy’s lunch last night :)|
|Even laundry seems to have so much more meaning today. I know… I’m crazy.|