As much as I’m enjoying motherhood so far, it hasn’t come without some worries. Mainly I’m worried about the following:
1. Getting Grace on a schedule before I go back to work
2. Going back to work
I know there are bigger things to worry about and that God is big enough to help me figure out both of these things, but they worry me nevertheless.
I’m reading the famous Baby Wise book and it makes SO MUCH SENSE that I want to follow its principles. Babies on a good schedule are happy and feel safe and secure when they can anticipate the rhythms of their day. I know that Grace is only 3 weeks old (tomorrow marks 3 weeks; I can’t believe it!) and that as a “newborn” she has certain needs that don’t always follow the clock, but because I’m going to have to start working again in only 5 short weeks, I really need to be able to predict her naps and feedings.
Well, so far it’s going ok, but I just can’t seem to get her through the whole sleep/eat/awake cycle in the 2.5-3 hour timeframe :( I’m able to feed her at the appropriate times, but getting her to sleep at the right times is a challenge. It’s so painful to hear her cry, especially when I don’t know if she just needs to work it out or if she needs to be awake! Ugh. I really hope it all falls in place in the next few weeks.
Worry #2 comes and goes. I’m SOOO thankful to have a wonderful job and even more wonderful boss who is willing to work with me in this new phase of my life. I worry because I’ve always taken a lot of pride in my work and I would give so much of myself and my best energy to work. Now I have to divide my energy and attention between my precious baby girl and my great job. I need to join a support group of working moms or something…
For now, I try to just enjoy every moment, not worry too much about the schedule or going back to work and instead just trust God that He will take care of me. I’m so glad that I have Him to lean on.