Campaigning for the November 2008 election is in full swing, so I’m sure we’ve all had more than our fill of conventions, speeches, mud-slinging, controversy and hype. I never seem to care much about politics until election years roll around. Then I somehow find myself tuning into national convention coverage, magazine articles, and internet postings like it’s my job! It is fascinating for me to read all about the candidates on both sides. I missed most of the TV coverage on the conventions, but thanks to the world wide web, I was able to watch as many speeches as I could stomach. (too much “canned” discourse isn’t good for you:)
I cannot, however, stand the politics of relationships. I’ve taken a step back from my usual whirlwind schedule to have more time to just BE. I can finally take a deep breath and read a good book, organize closets, and even write! As I’ve had more time to reflect, I’ve come to realize how political so many of my relationships are. Or maybe “have become” is a better way of putting it. Gone are the days of high school or college when we all just hung out. We had our group, they called, and we went. There was no bizarre excuse making or squeezing them in. Unless we had school or family stuff, we just hung out with our pals. Maybe it wasn’t like this for everyone, but those years were pretty simple for me (with the exception of my dating experiences…which were definitely complicated!).
Lately it seems like there is a political veil separating me from many of my friends. “Have I called her lately?” “When was the last time we hung out with them?” “We better call them before they have to call us.” “We don’t really want to go, but do we have a good reason not to?” “Don’t you wish we could just say we’d rather spend the day alone?” “You didn’t let them know that we went, did you?” “I guess we could squeeze that into our already busy week.” “I guess I can go and ‘play the game’” “Why do I have to always make the first move, yet I never bring it up”
You know how it goes…right? There are so many things we want to say, but we don’t. We keep going forward “playing the game” as my mom likes to call it. I can’t remember when we actually coined that phrase, but we’ve laughed and fought about it through the years! It’s funny when we refer to “playing the game” with my difficult step-grandma. Not so funny when we mention having to “play the game” with each other.
Playing the Game = saying the things they want to hear, avoiding the stressful topics, providing appropriate responses.
Do you ever “play the game” with anyone?
I guess to some extent we have to play some games in life. Well, if we want to keep our jobs and speak to our families anyway! Part of it isn’t “playing the game,” it’s just being a decent human being.
The stuff that bugs me is the totally unnecessary politics that settles in due to different phases of life, growing apart, cliques, ect. It’s total crap, and I wish I had the balls to speak up about it.
Until then, I blog about it. And I hope that I’m not the only one out there who has gone through it.
I totally understand and know what you mean… I’m so glad that we don’t have to worry about “playing the game”
I hope that you are doing better. I miss you and I am thinking of you often.
Love,
Sara
Oh yes, I think everyone that reads this knows exactly what you’re talking about. And if they don’t, it’s because they’re the ones we’re “playing the game” for! LOL
A friend of mine blogged about relationships in a similar manner before. It does get frustrating. I, too, miss the simplicity of the relationships from our youth. They’re work now, but for most, I find the pay-off very rewarding! xoxo
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LB
Life, my dear Rebecca, is about love and relationships. Since man, alone, can’t handle too much or too little of either, we’ve developed the political side of both, in my humble opinion, in order to cope. We are all political because we all crave our independence and need to get along in a world full of people just like us. Your Mom is right, the only One who matters is Jesus. Live a life pleasing to Him and the rest falls into place. I love you willingness to discuss these delicate issues. I pray as well that your light so shines in this world. I love you.
Girl, I am praying that your blog gets out there… wherever that is… because I fear that much of life is playing the game, and people will relate!!! But, my dear one… I think you are figuring out how to “hold um, and fold um”. The key my dear precious daughter is “knowing when to walk away and knowing when to run”. The only one that matters is Jesus, so we should be playing His game not ours… which poses a whole new discussion. Are you doing things His way, living your life before Him not man? I am not…
Oops,
Mom :)
***reference~Kenny Rodgers, The Gambler***
Excellent post sweetie! Reminds me of Carrie Bradshaw :)