I wish I would have been the one to coin the phrase, but alas I did not. I actually happened upon it about a year and a half ago when I stumbled upon a website called quarterlifecrisis.com. It’s basically a website where 20 somethings ramble and complain about the weird crash that seems to accompany this chapter of life. It’s too early to be a midlife crisis….that comes at about 50, so 25 is the perfect time for a quarter life crisis. It probably shouldn’t be a crisis at all since we are all young enough to get up and create the life we want to be remembered for. I suppose that’s still possible at age 50 but is significantly more daunting I’m sure. By 75 I better be at the point in my life that I know God and myself well enough to avoid any and all possible crises.
So, here I am. Twenty-five years old and in crisis. Who am I really? What do I like? What are the things I wish I’d done already? Can I still do them? I’ve described it to several people in the following terms: It’s like a carwash….the kind at which you pull your two front tires over those things on the conveyor belt and they just move you along through the brushes and giant mop heads and soap and wax spitters, etc. You pull up and get onto the moving belt and then you’re moving right along. You aren’t pushing on the gas petal, you can’t use the break, you’re stuck in neutral and you are moving along the course. What if you suddenly change your mind and don’t want a carwash? Is there anything you can do about it? You might be able to get out of your car and run, but then there’s the issue of the water, and soap and giant moving parts. It’s dangerous to leave.
All that to say that I’m feeling like my life is on a course and I’m not sure it’s the one I dreamed or imagined. I hope it’s the one that God wants me to be on, but I’m not even sure I spent enough time discussing it with Him. Maybe this feeling is a wake up call from Him. Maybe this is how He’s getting my attention so that I really make some changes in my life. I’m not sure.
If you are a prayer, pray for me.
Hey there….check out my blog…I just transfered my xanga account to blogger so I could post pictures easier…:-)
love, kalena
Wanna,
I feel right now that I am just coming out of a long period of time that was just like that. Maybe I am in the eye of the storm, and I will be hit by winds that assail me from the opposite direction…who kows? But right now I feel like the rains are abating and the sun is poking through.
My malaise took the form of feeling like my faith was built on assumptions of life making sense rather than my faith being THE thing that made sense in a life that didn’t. It also took the form of resisting the talents I have because to embrace them was to alienate myself from others. It took the form of being a shell emotionally after years of pausing my emotions to be dealt with at a later date.
Now, my faith is like Kelloggs corn flakes, “taste it again for the first time.” My talents are driving my choice of vocation and avocation alike; and my emotions are being handled better and with more respect from my mind – as rightful cohabitants of my person, rather than nuisanses.
One other “freebie” I want to throw out there and you can see if it fits for you, is the idea of life to this point being adrenaline based – rather than commitment based. What I mean is, before now, everything has been a race. Getting through Highschool, College, getting married, geeting a job/career – now the race ends up being a marathon and we are tired from the exertion of the first 25 miles and are coming down off the adrenaline high. I don’t know if this feels like you or not, and I don’t have a solution if it does…but I have heard it before, and it may just be comforting to realize that if it is the case it makes sense and is a normal reaction to the letdown of the set-up phase of life.
You may stumble, or stop for a breather; but, I will be there with Gatorade and a pat on the shoulder to get you plodding again. You have started well, now finish strong. :) You have a lot of supporters – your husband, your friends and your family – let them (us) know how we can help: listening, encouraging (its OK to ask for it) or a kick in the ass – thats the POINT of friends – to help us finish strong!
-Diogenes
I remember that time well and I will be praying for you. I’m always here.
Love ya,
Carrie