So every year I find myself making the same resolution…lose weight. You’d think it would get boring or repetitive after 10 years, but alas it hasn’t. Each year the ball drops and I think to myself, “Gee, I really don’t like my bulging stomach or my thick thighs or my double chin for that matter. I ought to lose weight. That will be my resolution this year.” And every year I start out with the best of intentions. I plan detailed workout schedules and routines. I swear off all things greasy, chocolate or otherwise unhealthy and I begin drinking more water. For two or three days. A week if I’m lucky. Then, I’m so cranky from deprivation and so frustrated that I’m not instantly a size 6 that I give up and remember a mantra that my mom once told me that she and her sister would chant, “Better fat and jolly than skinny and sour!” Maybe it’s funny and even a little cute, but by no means is it a good motto for life! Once all the diet nonsense has passed…I spend the rest of the year frustrated about my weight and weighing the option of beginning another routine.
I must admit that not all years have been so grim. There were actually 2 years among the 10 that I actually did something about the problem. One year I ate better and did crazy long workouts late at night while watching Cosby show re-runs on Nick at Nite. I remember standing in front of my mom’s full lenght antique mirror and actually admiring the body that I had worked so hard to sculpt. I don’t remember how that wonderful time came to an end.
Then, there was New Years of 2001. I was living in Kenya and I was determined to have left the USA a caterpillar and return a beautiful butterfly. So I worked my butt of exercising religiously every morning and every night. I would run along the rough hilly terrain in the a.m. and I would run up and down the stairs of my house for 45 minutes every night followed by a series of stomach, arm and leg maneuvers I read about in the magazines my grandma sent. I didn’t eat enough however, and upon returning home I began enjoying the foods I had so long gone without.
This year I have resolved once again to become a smaller version of myself. I think now that I have gone so far over into the dark side of poundage I will be less likely to want to traverse the great divide again.