This is probably my favorite time of year. I always get excited about summer, but it’s never the same as the sheer joy I feel when autumn is creeping in. Even though I’m long past the “going back to school” days I still get the urge to stock up on school supplies. There is something almost magical about new pens, pencils, folders and notebooks. It will be fun to eventually buy that stuff for my children.

Fall hasn’t even officially begun, but I know it’s on its way. I can start to feel the crispness in the air. I have seen small clusters of red and gold leaves begin to peek out from giant green trees. My taste buds are turning toward pumpkin spice lattes (thank you Starbucks), apple cider, pot roast, chili, beef stew and doughnuts. I’m getting excited to resurrect my collection of sweaters and sweatshirts. I have my eye on an adorable pair of brown moccasins. My beloved navy blue “puffy vest” will make a comeback. I guess it’s all about food and fashion!

I always get an antsy feeling in the fall. I begin to daydream more. I look at where I am and where I want to be. I become uncontrollably nostalgic. I miss my grandma Marilyn everyday. I remember taking walks with her. I remember the pounds and pounds of candy corn she would consume this time of year. I remember eating chicken and biscuits with yellow gravy and cream chipped beef on toast at her apartment on Kingsville. I can hear her laugh and I can remember how soft she felt when we hugged. It brings tears to my eyes as I write about it.

I also remember cozy afternoons tucked inside our tiny duplex on Ontario St. I remember the poems I had to memorize for school. I remember taking walks to the Detroit Public Library near our house almost every school day. I remember playing with Ellen and John Paul when they were still practically babies. I remember not having a care in the world other than what I would wear to youth group that week.

At this point in time I’m wishing I didn’t have to go to work so that I could keep my house totally clean all the time, make dinners that take longer than 30 minutes to prepare, curl up on my couch and read for hours, and do the volunteer work at nursing homes that continues to pull at my heart strings.

For now I’ll keep sitting at this desk at work sharing my thoughts via blog. I’ll keep looking for my next job and I’ll keep hoping for the day that I get to stay home.

I was reading Dooce today and came across this awesome video. Check it out!

I’m back! And I have officially returned to the daily grind…ugh. Those 8 days of fantasy living by the beach were wonderful and the relaxation was very much needed. I’m the type of person who can’t really relax or forget about my worries until I’m away from home. It doesn’t even have to be very far away! I can forget everything even during a weekend at our friends’ cottage an hour away. But another state?!?! I’m a totally different person!

You all know how crazy I am about the 4 different personality types! Well, on a normal day in my normal life I am a solid Choleric/Melancholy (driven, direct, opinionated, black and white, efficient, impatient, deep thinker, sensitive, pessimistic, detail oriented, perfectionist, etc). When I am on vactation I magically tranform into a full on Phlegmatic (laid back, easy going, quiet, relaxed, mostly listens, not opinionated, go with the flow, etc). It’s so odd. It’s like I totally forget who I am. I actually really like it. I think to myself, “this is how 1/4 of the population is all the time!” I know that I should embrace who God made me, and I’m working on it, but I wouldn’t mind having some Phlegmatic to balance me out!

Anyway, it was an awesome trip. Most of the week was sunny so I was able to lay by the pool all day and read. I actually read four 300 page books last week! It was so nice to have the time to do that. Andy and I went to Barnes and Noble on Monday after we got home and I felt like a drug addict in a meth lab! There were so many books and I wanted to figure out a way to read them all! I was seriously thinking, “How could I just hang out in the bookstore and read all day until I read every book?” I’m such a nut. I’m really thankful for my love of reading though. I’m sure it has something to do with the fact that my mom read to her belly while she was pregnant, then she read to me as a baby and all throughout my childhood. My grandma Marilyn always read to me before bed…I cherish those moments still. I’m really hoping that if I do the same thing my children will love to read. I’m almost afraid that I’ll be too crazy about it and then they’ll hate reading and I’ll end up in counseling wondering what I did wrong.

I had lots of time to think while I was away. It’s so hard to see things clearly when you are right in the middle of them. I’ve been struggling with the fact that my schedule controls me and it should really be the other way around. I fill every inch of my time up with something and often it’s good stuff. I have a hard time saying no to things even good things or things I would enjoy. But then I find myself stuck in a schedule that doesn’t have any room to breath and I hate that. There was a great quote in Blue Like Jazz…it was something like, “I’m like a rechargeable flashlight; I need to be plugged in for 24 hours before you can get 10 minutes of usefulness out of me.” I know that I’m at my best when I have downtime so I’m going to commit to maintaining a less frantic schedule. I’ll let you know how it goes…

I feel like I’ve rambled on long enough now. In fact, I’m feeling a little narcissistic writing all of this anyway… the most common reason I hear for not having a blog is, “What’s so interesting about my life or my thoughts on things that people would want to read about it on a blog?”