Being a blogger, I tend to think about blogging ALOT.  Yes, I know “alot” isn’t a word but I think it should be.  So there.

It kind of drives me crazy that I spend so much time thinking about something that I only do for a short time each day and not even every day at that.  But blogging is my one and only hobby.  Sure I get crafty once in a while and hand-make a few greeting cards and I enjoy reading, but blogging is my favorite hobby by far.

So when I’m not posting here on my blog, I’m reading other blogs, following bloggers I know on Twitter and keeping current on Instagram.  I guess you could say I’m a social media junkie, although I hate that term.

I don’t want to be known as a person who has my nose so far into my iPhone or laptop that life is passing me by.  I decided earlier this year to work on achieving balance between my online presence and my real life.  I think I’m doing pretty well with it for the most part, so I’m ok with being a social media junkie of sorts.  I really don’t watch much TV and Andy studies ALOT so this gives me a fun outlet after Grace is in bed each night.

But I digress…

As I’ve been thinking so much about blogging, I continue to think about what I want out of this little blog of mine.  I love the community of readers I have and I get so excited when people make my recipes or try out my DIY projects.  I recently received an email from a girl who’s husband has been on a similar path as mine and my story had encouraged her.  These are the things that make blogging so incredibly rewarding.

And, I guess if I’m honest with myself, I want more of those things!

I’d love for more people to try out recipes or projects that I post.  I would love to connect with other med school wives and military spouses.  I’d love to explore my faith more vulnerably here and connect with other women who are sharing their struggles and victories too.

But part of me is scared.

Scared of coming across like a total narcissist or attention whore.  Scared of pitching my writing to other sites to get more exposure.  Scared of seeming too desperate or too “sales persony.”

That last one really gets me.

I have “salesman blood” coursing through my veins.  I don’t know whether it’s genetic or environmental, but I have a natural bent toward selling myself on a personal and professional level.

The worst part about it?

I absolutely cringe when I see other people selling themselves or their pursuits all the time.  It makes me want to run away like I’m being chased by a pack of wild bears.

It’s just so icky.

Self promotion has its time and its place.  I think I did really well in my professional career because I was able to sell my own talents and skills as well as those of the the companies I worked for.

I also think self promotion can be done really well in the blogging world and can achieve great results if it’s done right.  I’ve seen other bloggers promote themselves in a non-narcissistic way that draws people in and makes them want to connect.

Not in a way that makes them want to find a high place to avoid drowning in the shameless attention whoring.

I can’t put my finger on exactly what the major differences are between the two methods, but I’m downright scared that I’ll come across arrogant and desperate rather than genuine.  So I continue to just tiptoe around growing my blog.

I’ve done the first step things like interacting more on Twitter, leaving comments on blogs I love, sharing other bloggers’ posts that have resonated with me and participating in blogger groups on Facebook.  These things are all fine and good, but if I want to go to the next level, I know I’m going to have to do more.

I’m going to have to get a little uncomfortable.

I’m also going to have to get a little more brave about being vulnerable and sharing what’s really inside me.

The bloggers who open up and share themselves with their readers are the ones I really love to follow.  I’m always down for a new recipe, home decor tip or outfit idea but the posts that move me and inspire me come from a much deeper place.  They come from the heart of the writer.

I want to open my heart here.  I want to be more honest and more open and more real.

I’d love any suggestions you might have to help me put myself out there in a way that isn’t icky!