I almost tremble to write this, but I can’t help wondering if it’s true.
Poking around Facebook, Twitter, and the blogosphere, it seems that I keep seeing the same thing…
Praise for “keepin’ it real.”
And, don’t get me wrong….I LOVE keepin’ it real.
Authenticity is something I’ve come to value very much. Especially over the past few years.
None of us is perfect.
We all have dark moments, hours, and days.
I get that.
Sometimes we’re good at things too.
You might be a BOSS at work. You’re climbing the corporate ladder and you are just awesome at what you do.
We commend you!
You might be an artist whose paintings, printables, knitting, or jewelry is beautiful and sells well all over the internet.
We commend you!
You might be a powerhouse blogger. Your traffic is incredible, you get hundreds of likes on every Instagram picture, and you have gobs of people waiting for your next post.
We commend you!
Or, you might be a homemaker who keeps a clean house, makes dinner every night, and has highly organized closets and drawers.
Well then…we might suggest that you spend more time on those things than on your children. Maybe we make jokes about June Cleaver or Martha Stewart. We surmise that you’re uptight or controlling. Maybe talk about how we’re so glad we know how to “ignore the dust” or “prioritize ‘me’ time”.
Why can’t we think you’re awesome for the things you’re good at?
Why does homemaking success seem to make people so defensive?
Why do a neat & tidy house and mouth-watering descriptions of successful recipes somehow feel threatening?
Many moons ago women prided themselves on a clean home, dazzling meals, and sacrificing themselves for a well-run home. Probably too much…think stereotypical 50’s housewife.
Those women needed to know it was okay to be less than perfect. They needed to know they mattered, not just their performance. They needed to relax a little, let down their guard, and be more honest with the world.
So many of today’s women seem opposite. Never have time for a shower or a home-cooked dinner. Wake up feeling defeated before they start. It’s all mess all the time. Victims of a “Pinterest-driven ideal”.
I’m not saying everyone has to be good at everything. Or that homemaking skills are better than
bow-hunting skills any other skill set.
If you hate cooking and cleaning, but love crafting and creating…more power to you! We are all different and unique and awesome.
I get that.
I just feel like there’s this lopsided weight of praise doled out when people hate on domesticity.
Why can’t “real motherhood” be Pinterest worthy?
Maybe you suck at working outside the home, eating healthy, and being vulnerable online, but your kids are dressed adorably and your home looks like a showroom.
Maybe you struggle with social anxiety, keeping up with laundry, and working out regularly, but you are a craft maven who has a real-life DIY portfolio that would put Martha to shame.
Does motherhood have to look like the antithesis of Pinterest in order to be genuine?
Again, why can’t I be a “good mom” and have a clean oven and floors? Why is it either or?
Maybe cleaning is the one thing I’m really good at. Maybe I enjoy it and derive satisfaction and pride from keeping my house clean? Maybe I can’t draw a straight line, make my way around social media, or cook anything but boxed mac n’ cheese, but my house is freaking sterilized.
I mean “I” in the most general sense. I personally am not nearly the house cleaner I’d like to be!
Listen, I SUCK at a lot of things.
I’m gonna run through a quick list to give you an idea of some things I’m just plain bad at…
- taking care of house plants
- maintaining a garden
- responding to emails in a timely manner
- answering my phone
- calling people back in a timely manner
- cartwheels (can.not.do.them.)
- keeping clutter at bay
- keeping my basement bathroom clean
- keeping my kitchen and dining room floors clean
- getting out the door on time without rushing like a mad woman
- grocery shopping on a budget
- crafts of any kind
- making my bed regularly
- asking for help
- cooking without making a complete mess
- being kind and patient when my kids wake in the middle of the night
- not holding a grudge
- juicing consistently
- exercising consistently
- doing anything consistently
This is, by far, NOT a comprehensive list. Just a few things that came to mind as I’m sitting here typing this up.
There are so many more.
I think I happen to be decent at home-making in general, and I really enjoy taking care of my husband and kiddos so it’s not a huge effort to do a good job.
Not an excellent, outstanding job. But a solidly good one.
I’m proud of my domestic success. I think it’s a good thing to meal plan, cook for my family, keep my house in order, and even blog a few mouth-watering recipes in the process.
I certainly don’t think I should be obsessed with it or find my value in it, but I do think I should put forth effort.
I don’t think that makes me inauthentic. I don’t think that makes me uptight.
I also don’t think it’s wrong for anybody not to be good at this stuff. Maybe it’s not your thing and that’s OKAY.
So why then, does it seem like people don’t want to see domestic success?
That you can be good at anything else, but not homemaking.
Am I wrong on this?
Am I just sensitive to it or is this really happening online?
I really do want to know. Maybe I have this all wrong!