It’s time to bring back the blog.
I’ve really missed my little corner of the internet.
After spending time vlogging, selling Lipstick, and mulling over 101 other ideas, I’ve had an ache to write again.
To document our family journey, share ideas, work through my faith, and post recipes I love.
Andy recently bought an AppleTV and hooked it up to the TV in our bedroom. One night the kids piled into my bed and we scrolled through hundreds of old photos. It was amazing.
I cannot tell you how much I was encouraged by looking through years of our life in photos. It made me step back out of the forest and clear my eyes of all the trees so I could really see my life.
What I saw was good.
It was sweet and precious and happy.
I spend so much time worrying about doing it all wrong. I constantly analyze and criticize my performance as a wife, a mother, and a woman. This leaves me tired and discouraged. I’m always reading another book or article or blog post about parenting and marriage and womanhood. Looking for the nugget that will change everything. That will help me get control of my life and relationships so that I can make everything right.
We all know that’s not possible. We are not in control and we can’t make everything right.
What we can do is open our eyes to the goodness God has placed in front of us and we can be grateful for it. We can ask Him continually to remind us of His presence and to give us wisdom and insight into how to spend our moments.
That’s the place He’s been bringing me to lately.
I’m coming out of a hard season. The move from MD was stressful and our first month here was very difficult for me. We were cooped up in a hotel room and my first experiences in Pensacola didn’t make the best impression.
That’s putting it lightly.
I had a bit of a meltdown. I didn’t want to stay here and I felt incredibly frustrated and defeated by just about everything in my life.
As a person who regularly needs to be alone to think and pray and process things, that time was especially terrible because our whole family was stuck in a small hotel room together and there seemed to be nowhere for me to go.
Nowhere but the arms of Jesus.
I’d love to say I ran right to him ready to surrender, but I more or less dragged myself weakly to him crying and fighting the process the whole way.
The awesome thing about Jesus though?
He doesn’t care how we get there, he’s just so glad we’ve come. He draws us into his embrace of perfect love and holds us close while we struggle.
I was hoping I’d get some miraculous delivery from my feelings and the black cloud that seemed to have taken up residence over my heart and mind, but I didn’t. Almost that entire three and a half weeks was excruciating.
Because none of it looked like I expected it to (ie go to Jesus and everything becomes instantly better) I believed the lie that I was doing it wrong.
Doing it wrong?!
Going to Jesus is always the right thing. As long as you go, you can’t actually “do it wrong” for goodness sake!
God is relentlessly showing me his love for me is without condition. Like the older brother in the Prodigal Son, I am always with him and everything he has is mine.
I never had to slave away for God or get it all right, or try really hard to be good, or show him how much I love him.
ALL his love has ALWAYS been mine.
Somehow he’s taking the emotional ups and downs of all this military moving and relocating and full time mothering and he’s using them to show me his love. His high, wide, deep and long love for me.
The journey can be painful, but there’s no where else I’d rather travel.
I’m excited to be back here writing along the way. Thanks for joining me :)
Sadie Saullo says
I’m so encouraged by your words. I’m so glad this tough time and big move brought you into my life!! ❤
Faye Anderson says
So good to see you and your family again. Grace, Drew and Avery have grown so since I last saw their picture. Still miss seeing and hearing their sweet little voices over the back fence. We are doing pretty good for couple of old folks. We spend lots of time with our family things, all 5 grands still live close so we see them often. Our two oldest 20 & 18 are on scholarships at Oakland, Libby16, Molly13 and Maren12 are all honors students! We have three cross country girls and one swim star (queen of the breaststroke). We are proud, and feel so blessed to be here taking part in all this. Life is good. We praise our Lord for all our many blessings.
Faye!!! Wow! It’s so nice to hear from you! I haven’t been keeping up with the blog and had no idea you would be periodically checking in. I’m glad to hear you’re doing well! It’s so wonderful you get to be near your grandchildren…we really miss our families! I miss seeing your friendly face in the yard when we spent time outside. We enjoy our new neighborhood, but don’t have neighbors near as friendly as you. Being near the beach is really fun and we live right behind the Naval air station so we get to see lots of wonderful planes fly overhead. Thank you for your comment, I look forward to keeping the blog updated with our daily happenings!
Thank you for sharing! You are surely not alone and it’s so good for all us moms/ wives/ women to be reminded that we are not the only ones who are experiencing difficulties and intense trials. Continue to trust in his sovereignty and rest in that amazing peace that surpasses all understanding. Much love to you sister! – Alex
So glad you back! My favorite word girl! As i read i always feel caught up. God is faithful and always brings us through. Its rough sometime’s though, believe me i know!
Thank you Ashleigh! I so appreciate you and your support! <3