More than halfway through July.
Makes me want to cry.
Hey! I’m a poet and didn’t even know it ;)
But seriously. Summer is my absolute favorite and I feel it slipping away. I want to hold on tight and never let it go. I want to slow down and say no to every single thing but lazy mornings and afternoons outside and dinners on the grill. I want to memorize every drop of perspiration falling from my girls’ foreheads. I want to mentally snapshot Drew sitting in the grass trying his hardest to munch on a single blade of green.
Over the weekend I bought a citronella lantern and new string lights for the patio. I’m sitting outside right now and want to spend every night out here knowing colder temps and darker evenings are on the horizon.
It’s been a cooler than normal summer and while part of me has appreciated the milder temperatures, there’s another part of me….the summer lovin’ little girl who wanted to swim every day and stay out till after dark every night.
That girl wants to recreate those memories with her daughters rather than spending time inside. I’d love to wake up every day and eat breakfast fast so we can all head outside. The girls would run around, climb the playscape, ride their bikes, play in the sand and splash in the baby pool. The boy would wear his sunhat and bounce in his Johnny Jumper while I sipped my coffee and wrote in my journal.
We’ve had a stretch of hot days that have been more conducive to that dream, but my kids haven’t gotten the memo ;) They’d rather talk me into a few shows while I doze on the couch. They’d rather putz during breakfast and insist they aren’t full after 2 helpings. So I get a third and refill water cups and finally get around to cooking up my own breakfast.
By this point I’ve accumulated enough dishes that it’s time to tackle them before they get unruly. By this time Drew is up from his morning nap and ready to eat again. Diaper changes abound. Poopy bottoms in triplicate. Bickering and unkind tones arise from the girls room.
I want to yell up the stairs to make it stop. I’m working at taking a breath. Uttering a prayer of surrender to my Father. Asking for grace and mercy that it might flow through me to the girls in all of the many arguments that will inevitably occur throughout the day. I’m reminded that the Lord desires transformation and restoration more than punishment. Am I seeking to restore them or just dole out punishment after punishment? It’s often the latter, but I’m asking God to give me wisdom as to how to restore two small girls who are steeped in sibling rivalry.
I have 18 years to raise these children. My perspective on those years recently changed. It occurred to me that I could become frustrated when it’s necessary to teach each lesson over and over and over again, sometimes without any apparent progress. OR I can understand that it may take 18 years, give or take, to learn some of these basic virtues and each time I teach the lesson, each time I ask God to help me restore them, is another drop in the bucket of them becoming men and women of good character.
I know I’ve only just started to fully embrace the character and virtue I always wanted to look like I had. Seems to me these sweet little sinful humans ought to be given grace as they navigate these rough waters.
All that and so much more has been swirling in my mind these summer days. I’ve been waging war against the anxiety that threatens to gain footing every day. Prayer and journaling have helped. Vetiver oil has also helped, despite my skepticism that it would. I also happen to adore its woodsy scent.
It feels like I’m climbing great mountains in my mind each day while I am going about all the regular things. Laundry, dishes, grocery shopping, cooking.
I’ve been working on my grilling skills and also trying to come up with healthy, Whole30 compliant, summery dinners.
Grilled veggies and organic rotisserie chicken fit the bill the other night and made the most scrumptious lunch today. (Throwing the chicken carcass into my crockpot and covering it with water on low for 24 hours makes the easiest bone broth!)
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL! I made this comment to Andy the other day when I got the crockpot set up to make the broth…it cracked me up then and even more now that I made the meme! HAHAHAHA!
This shrimp, zucchini and pesto zoodle dinner was also very tasty. I’ll be making it again for sure!
We had our first date night in far too long about 2 weeks ago. We dined at Green Dot Stables and loved everything that crossed our mouths. I chose four different delicious sliders with a tiny wedge salad and ridiculously good truffle and herb fries.
We loved the restaurant music and atmosphere and had a great time talking and getting really caught up with each other, free of interruptions from our little minions :)
Just this past weekend we enjoyed sushi and a boat ride with friends we haven’t hung out with in over 4 years. Where on earth does the time go?
It was an absolutely gorgeous night and we loved being out on the water filling our bellies and our hearts in good company. Too bad it takes us 4 years to get around to hanging out with people. I know life isn’t going to slow down so lately I’m consumed with trying to figure out how to spend time with everyone we love without being constantly on the go because these years with little ones are no joke. My kids do very well with predictable routines and plenty of time at home with both parents. I cannot seem to find balance lately and I so wish I could.
It’s time for bed and although I could keep writing and writing about our summer so far, I’m going to head to bed for a little reading before it gets too late. And before I break 1000 words.
I’m in the running for the ultimate verbal processor. The competition’s got nothing on this wordy woman! LOL
Laurie Kroll says
You are way too articulate and cool Rebecca! I ingested every. Word…
I love you…