I woke up at 7:42am to Avery crying in her crib.
Grace woke up even earlier than that, and Andy graciously attended to her potty needs before returning to the bed to snuggle me.
I think I may have sleepwalked into Avery’s room to get her out of bed, change her diaper, and sit her down for breakfast.
I’m so not a morning person.
I sat at the table with Grace and Aves while they ate breakfast and I waited for Andy to come down and make a pot of coffee.
I keep staying up too late.
Mostly to hang out with Andy, watching shows or Oscar movies while we cuddle on the couch.
Then, we both are suckers for reading and just have to sneak in a couple of pages before falling asleep.
So not only have we stayed up too late watching “just one more episode” but then we get sucked into our books too.
I have to admit it’s my favorite part of the day though.
Crawling into our cozy bed, grabbing my book, and scooting across the bed until I’m perfectly nestled into Andy’s warm embrace.
Soon he’ll be back to school and turning in early and I’ll miss these late nights, so I’m more than willing to have groggy mornings and sleepy days for now.
Right now it’s 11:21 and I’m bristling at the thought that I need to put my day into high gear….
Grace has ballet at 1:00 and we are planning to get Avery’s one year pictures taken after that. We had a family photo taken when Grace was one and I’m excited to replace those pictures around the house with updated shots of all four of us.
We have had this on the to-do list since the first of the year and we (I) keep putting it off.
When will be a good time? What about the nap schedule? What will we all wear? Etc, etc, etc.
It’s really not that big of a deal and we just need to go out and do it, but I’m just so unmotivated.
Plus, I have a group of zits on my left cheek right now.
I DON’T GET ZITS.
Especially cheek zits.
Occasionally I’ll have something crop up on my nose or chin, but I don’t think I’ve had a cheek zit since 1995.
So OF COURSE I have several today.
Just in time to be immortalized in Avery’s one year photos.
We plan to grab a bite to eat after the pictures since we’ll be out anyway and Andy’s spring break is coming to an end and Grace is going to be gone all weekend with my mom.
So there is a yummy dinner at the end of this ordeal, but even that isn’t really motivating me right now.
I just sometimes get paralyzed at an action-packed day stretching out before me.
Lunch, showering, wrangling Grace into her dreaded leotard, driving to and from dance, getting Avery dressed and ready, packing up the diaper bag for the evening, the long drive to the photo place, the unknown experience we’ll have when we get there, the fear that every picture might be crappy, the anticipation of following that ordeal with a dinner out and all that entails with Avery being at such a squirrely age.
It kind of makes me want to just stay on the couch in my jammies.
I should be hopping in the shower right now to make sure we aren’t rushing furiously out the door to get to ballet, but instead I’m sitting here typing out a lame blog post.
I wish I was posting some gorgeously photographed recipe or hilarious tale of daily life or compelling spiritual revelation, but I’m not.
I feel stuck.
The words and song in my heart just cannot be translated into a blog post. I want to write them out to know what I’m feeling and, at the same time, I want to hold them all in and bask in the weight everything happening in my heart and mind.
What I don’t want to do is hide out from the blog.
To fear what could come of it.
To feel so inadequate that I don’t even try to make this space something great.
I really do need to get in the shower.
I suppose I should hit “publish” but what the heck is the point of this dull post?
I don’t even know.
I guess I had hoped that if I pulled out the laptop and started typing, something wonderful might come out.
But it didn’t.
I’ve seen lists of people’s current reads, songs, etc in their blog posts lately and I’ve enjoyed them, so I guess I’ll leave you with that…
Reading: Glimpses of Grace
Listening To: Where the Spirit of the Lord Is
Eating: Extra Fancy Unsalted Mixed Nuts
Infatuated With: Flower Patch Farmgirl
Thankful For: This guy
Wearing: This color on my toes
Kristin @ In Between the Piles says
This post feels so real. I know your other posts are “real,” too. But this post felt like an honest-to-goodness girlfriend conversation. Nothing polished – I totally relate. Your day sounds like MY days. I was so proud of myself for not getting (too) out of sorts when I was running late today. I’m usually running 5-10 minutes late but haven’t mastered that with two kiddos. I’m not a morning person, either. I was spoiled by the first 2 years of my daughter’s life because she slept in until at least 9. I know! It was awesome. Some parents would probably be giving me the evil eye, but it was a sleepy day when she started getting up early (which for her is 7:30…I’m still spoiled). I LOVE sleep and tend to go to bed way later than I should. I know it will probably sound silly, but your blog posts are always positive and peppy…making me think your life had to be so much better organized than mine. I’d think my posts were being way too real/too negative. This post made me realize that you and I are both mamas doing the best that we can! I wish your kiddos, Bella, and my kiddos could have a playdate. I think I would love getting a cup of coffee with you and Diana… :-)
penny Blum says
You are amazing… i always smile when i read your blogs… i am never bored reading them even if you think they are ‘lame’… don’t forget to give me one of those family pictures once you get them!!!… i love your beautiful family and you…. zits and all!!!!!
Adrie @ A Little Wife's Happy Life says
Oh my- I’m the queen of “one more episode,” which also means I’m the queen of “five more minutes” every morning! Oh well, like you said- we should really just treasure the moments; they won’t be here for long!
I actually like these “dull” posts because i can relate. Being a parent is a huge blessing but sometimes little things are a bit daunting and you have 2 little ones i have 1 11 year old 4 days a week.
Your space IS something great, you’re doing a great job voicing the thoughts and things others are afraid to say and its a huge comfort to be able to know someone can relate ;) Whether it be with faith, family, love for cooking, pursuit of perfectionism, stopping to take it all in and enjoy it etc and you have the ability to crack me up in some of your posts, but you’re not obligated to do so in every one.
Basically thank you for sharing your thoughts I enjoy seeing them!
This comment totally made my day, Terrah :) I appreciate you taking the time to leave an encouraging word! Blogging is so fun for me and I guess I always want it to be awesome and sometimes it’s just more real than anything. Funny thing is that I love these posts from other bloggers I read, I just think my own is lame. Ha!
I’m looking forward to the nice weather to see you more often! :)