Archives for February 2012

Lent

February 23, 2012

I think a lot of things come to mind when we hear the word Lent.

Catholic

Easter

Sacrifice

Fish

I Googled “What does Lent mean to you?” and found a wide spectrum of answers.

Source

Like many other spiritual things, people tend to have extreme opinions. There’s not a whole lot of middle ground. It’s usually a love or hate type of thing.

I actually fall in the middle on this one. I don’t feel that I have to participate in Lent.
I’m not Catholic and while my church does somewhat encourage participation, it’s totally optional.

It’s something I’ve chosen to do. I want to give something up for a period of time as a form of extended fasting.

Last year I celebrated Lent for the first time in about 23 years.

As a child I went to an Episcopalian church where Lent was practiced every year, but after moving to a non-denominational church the observance of Lent went to the wayside.

In some ways I think it was dismissed as being too religious or legalistic, and I have to disagree.

Great meaning can be found in participating in a ritual that generations upon generations have practiced for thousands of years before you.

Significant change and growth can come from fasting and praying.

Extended displays of self-control certainly lead to a more disciplined lifestyle.

And you know I’m all about discipline in 2012.

This year for Lent I’ve decided to give up alcohol and sugar.

That may seem pretty tame to some people and maybe even easier than last year’s fast of dairy, grain and sugar, but this one is definitely a sacrifice for me.

I love me some beer, wine and dessert.

At the end of a long work week, it’s so relaxing to mellow out with a great bottle of wine and a delicious dinner. At the end of a long workday, it’s nice knowing that a delicious cupcake is waiting for me.

This is a chocolate chip cookie dough cupcake and it was ah-ma-zing!

I’m going to be reminded of my “sacrifice” often in the next 40 days. It’s gonna hurt, but it’s gonna be good.

I’m going to pray again this year that God gives me His heart for the people around me. I’m going to ask that He draws me closer to Him and makes me more like His Son

My friend Kari posted a great blog article on Facebook the other day. It’s from Life In Grace and was a good read. One part in particular stuck out to me:

Lent is not a time to focus on ourselves and our own particular abundance or lack of self-discipline.

Lent is a time of self-forgetfulness, where we learn to live more in union with Christ and less from our own capabilities

Our Lenten discipline does not make us more holy. We have the very righteousness of Christ and His holiness already.

Our Lenten failures do not make us more wretched but serve to remind us that our wretchedness has cost our Savior His life and that He has gone to every length to secure our ransom

We take this journey with Him to learn from Him what it means to be His child. To remember what it’s like to be loved by Our Father.

I don’t want my Lenten fast to be about my own “particular abundance or lack of self-discipline”. So often I test myself to prove that I have discipline or self-control, but this is not about that. It’s about learning what it’s like to be a child of God and remembering what it’s like to be loved by my Heavenly Father.

Every time my sweet tooth aches or I’m itching for a glass of wine, I’m going to reach out in prayer and open myself to what God may be trying to say to me.

Have you decided to participate in Lent this year? If so, what have you given up?

Sunday Spill

February 19, 2012

Last week felt long. Even though it was long, it was a good. It was full of opposite ends of the spectrum. Exhausted and feeling like I could sleep for 8 hours if I just laid down on the floor at work one on one day. And then wired and high on estrogen Thursday night after great group of girls came over and stayed till after 2am.

The weekend has had highs and lows too. Saturday threatened to pull me down into a funky slump, but after Grace and I got out of the house for a few hours to browse CVS and the hardware store (we’re party animals, I know) and visit great grandma Elizabeth for about an hour, I ended the day on a high note. Andy came home from work and grilled up chicken and veggie kabobs while I finished off the brown rice garlic pilaf, then we watched a few episodes of How I Met Your Mother on Netflix and crashed at a decent hour.

Church this morning was so good. Like convict you down to your pinky toenail kind of good. I’ve been thinking about the message all day long and challenging myself to let it create a change in me. Also, since February is Black History Month we’ve had special vignettes each Sunday highlighting Black Heroes throughout the ages, specifically highlighting the underground railroad. A few lovely black women have sung powerhouse solo hymns from that period in time and I get goosebumpy and teary-eyed each week. It also makes me realize that I don’t know nearly enough about history. I’m looking forward to a future of homeschooling so I can brush up.

I saw the name Bon Iver pop up in my Facebook news feed on the night of the Grammy’s (this year’s best new artist) so I’ve checked out their songs and really dig the piano and overall sound. In fact, I’m blogging to their music right now. Also, it’s pronounced “Bone Ivver” not “Bon Eye-Verr”. You’re welcome.

Having been inspired by Love Maegan (seriously check her out…her daily outfits and DIY projects are super cute, not to mention her fun manicures!) I’ve been playing around with my nails lately. Here’s one from Valentine’s week and then something glittery for this week:

I’d just washed my hands from making dinner so pardon the water!

Speaking of Valentine’s Day, Andy and I had a great, low-key evening. We enjoyed a delicious dinner of grilled grass-fed steaks, garlic baked potatoes topped with sour cream, cheddar and green onion and perfectly crisp steamed asparagus. No, this food did not line up with my diet, but I decided to throw caution to the wind and enjoy a delectable dinner with my love. For dessert we had my grandma’s rich, buttery frosted cookies. It was a great night.

Frosted butter cookies from start to finish

I’d hoped to make a batch of Pink Lady Cupcakes (inspired by another one of my favorite food blogs that I’ve mentioned before) before V-Day so we could nosh on them along with the heart and lip cookies, but I ran out of time so I made them the day after. I really had fun making them and loved that I could take a bunch to work and share them with the ladies on Thursday night. Here’s a sneak peak (recipe to follow):

Pink Lady Cupcake (Strawberry with Cream Cheese Frosting)

This afternoon Grace and Andy made a fun fort under the dining room table while I took a long afternoon nap. Then Andy headed off to work and Grace and I played, read books, did puzzles, made chili for dinner and had lots of snuggles while watching Sprout on TV. It was a lovely Sunday afternoon and I’m looking forward to Andy getting home so I can dig into the amazing chili that is smelling up the whole house!

I hope you’ve all had a great week and a peaceful Sunday!

Holding Some Back

February 15, 2012

I’ve been finding that it’s tough to blog when you’re holding some things back.

This blog is really cathartic for me and it’s a good platform for learning how to be more honest, transparent and vulnerable – all things I’d like to be more of.

I like that it challenges me to really put myself out there and say what I think. But I also like that it’s a “take it or leave it” medium and I’m not saying these things to any one person face-to-face, thereby risking that I may offend them.

But lately I have a lot on my mind that just doesn’t have a place here. Not yet anyway.

That makes it tough to share freely what’s on my heart and mind, but I’m trusting my gut that holding it back for now is the wise choice.

And judging by size, my gut is pretty trustworthy.

::wink::

So, I’m holding it back. I’m thinking about it all and praying often. I really ought to write some things down because experience has taught me that it won’t be so raw and intense when I share later on.

For instance, I’d hoped that this blog would maybe encourage other women who are struggling with patience while their men are finding their dreams or stumbling along looking like they never will.

I spent 6 years being distraught over that very thing and I felt like no one out there knew what I was going through.

But now?

Now I can hardly remember those feelings of despair and when I finally do dig deep enough to see them, they are tame in comparison to their former strength.

I should have written more of it down in the moment when it was so very real and all I could think about.

I could have shared it now with others who are going through the same thing. But instead, I’m living in the “after” part of the situation and feel braggy if I share how overwhelmingly blessed I am that Andy has found his dream and is successfully achieving it.

::sigh::

So, here I sit. Wanting to let it all out but choosing to hold it all in.

I think I’ll jot things down and save them for a rainy day when the time feels right.

This wasn’t meant to be a cliff hanger or anything. Just a little relief for all that’s bubbling up inside me these days.

Now, back to our regularly scheduled programming.

You know, Grace pictures, recipes, weigh-ins and random updates.