January 2012 - Page 3 of 3

::hangs head in shame::

The holidays reeked havoc on my weight loss efforts. After weeks of being disciplined and feeling fantastic you’d think I would have done a better job getting through the holidays, but I didn’t.

Tables of delicious food at party after party were apparently too much for me to resist.

Today’s Weigh-In: 6 pounds gained

Total Weight Loss: 10 pounds

I’m completely disappointed, embarrassed and ashamed to post those numbers. In fact, I wasn’t going to do it. I was totally going to wait a week or so to see if I could reverse some of the damage before having to fess up to you.

But, I’m trying to keep it real.

It’s tough to think about how much progress I erased by letting discipline fall by the wayside. Sure I was going to let loose a little to enjoy the festivities, but I really should have only gained a pound or two.

Not six.

Ugh.

I’m picking myself up, dusting myself off and determining to make good choices to get back on track. 2012 is going to be about discipline, so I’m not going to be defeated. I’m going to do this.

By the way, it totally pisses me off that it’s nearly impossible to lose 2 pounds a week, but I can gain 2 pounds a week like it’s nothing. Fat is a cruel, cruel mistress.

I’ve been feeling incredibly inspired all day today.

The first day of a new year feels like such a new beginning for me. A clean slate just waiting for me to write my story on it.

After breakfast today, Grace and I headed to a fantastic church service. I was encouraged, empowered and challenged by the pastor’s message this morning.

It’s all still simmering in my soul, but it really solidified the things I’d already been thinking about resolving to do this year.

This year isn’t so much about specific resolutions as it is about words that I want to become the themes of my year.

Nine months or so ago, when I was still struggling with being whiny and discontent with everything, it hit me that Grace is going to look to me to learn how to process life.

Andy and I are literally going to be the glasses through which she views everything until she’s able to make her own choices.

Talk about a tall order.

I’d be lying if I said that didn’t scare the bejesus out of me. At the same time, I see it as such an honor and privilege.

God entrusted her to us to shape, mold and guide. Whoa.

When I stopped to think about how I was approaching life with a”woe is me” attitude, it made me sad knowing that I was setting her up to do the same thing.

Right then I decided that enough was enough.

I thought about the things I wanted her to learn from me. I thought about the qualities I wanted to be known for. I thought about characteristics that were worthy of working toward.

I resolved to be characterized by Joy and Contentment.

It’s not about plastering a fake smile on or paying lip services to make it look like you’ve got it all together.

To me, joy is about deep peace and happiness despite outward circumstances and contentment is about being grateful for all that we’ve been blessed with despite the overwhelming message that we never have enough.

Joy is a blessing to the people around us and contentment shines light on the greed and strife that’s rampant in our culture.

Let me tell you that I’ve failed at both of these this year.

But, keeping them at the forefront of my mind, and looking at my my life through their lens, I can tell you that I’ve had more of both of them this year than any year before.

I’ve taken deep breaths and let the warmth of contentment wash over me when I start feeling anxious about what we don’t have. I’ve rested in the peace that joy brings me when things around me start falling over like dominoes.

This year, I’m going to be even more dedicated to making joy and contentment pillars of who I am and I’m adding one more thing.

Discipline.

While reading one of my favorite blogs the other day, I read the following words and they totally resonated with me:

“I feel, more than ever, that discipline is the secret to happiness.”

Check out the entire post for all of Sarah’s awesome thoughts on the matter.

Discipline is definitely not one of my strong points. I’m more of a “run hard for short distances” kind of gal. You know, give something 110% for about 30 minutes and then fizzle out. Make lofty goals and then poop out after a week.

My husband, on the other hand, is who you will see when you look discipline up in the dictionary. He’s a “slow and steady wins the race” kind of guy.

The tortoise to my hare, if you will.

I’m equal parts inspired and intimidated by his discipline. Mostly inspired.

This year I want to learn discipline across the board.

I want it to transform how I talk, eat, keep house, live out my faith, exercise, think and approach life.

So, I’m not going to resolve to lose 20 pounds or become more organized.

I’m going to make 2012 a year characterized by joy, contentment and discipline.

I’d love to know what you’re gonna work on this year?