I don’t mean these pastel, 80’s figurines.
I mean the little moments I’ve had with Grace this week that have made my heart swell with love.
The toddler beginnings have been kind of rough for me. Gone is my predictable 6-12 month old baby. I now find myself wrestling with a scrappy toddler who matches my stubbornness tantrum for tantrum.
Yes, I admit to having regular tantrums. Mine always seem so much more “justified,” but then again, I bet she feels justified in the moment too.
Oh what a mirror children are! I look at her and see myself. I look at her interactions with me and see my interactions with God.
She wants to do it herself. There’s one right way and that’s all she’ll even consider. Anything else is just plain dumb.
Hmm…sounds awfully familiar.
I long for her to rest in my arms and snuggle in close. She thrashes around trying to get down to keep running and discovering and pushing. I know what’s best for her to eat and yet she plods full steam ahead in her total and complete resistance to almost all veggies.
Uncanny how much that’s me. Never resting in God’s presence, always pushing for what I want. Ouch.
She’s such a good girl that I really have nothing to complain about. She’s happy, healthy and a great sleeper. The stubbornness and tantrums are growing pains of toddlerhood and shouldn’t throw me for such a loop. I’m working on taking it in stride an being present with her throughout the journey.
Along the way we have some very precious moments together…
Yesterday morning we were sitting in the armchair by the front picture window looking out at the front yard. She was snuggled in close to me and I breathed in the smell of her sweet baby hair. Her little blue eyes darted back and forth as she followed the squirrels’ every move. Her tiny mouth was agape with wonder at the bushy-tailed creatures bounding all around. She’d lean to the left to watch one climb our tree, then she’d lean to the right to trace the path of another one scampering off to our neighbor’s yard.
I was mesmerized by her. Taking mental snapshots of her rosy cheeks and the slope of her perfect little nose. Drawing her close and squeezing her tiny little body. Marveling at each long eyelash. Such a blessing she is.
This afternoon before bathing her, I took off her fleecy footed pajamas and she sat down on my lap wearing only her diaper. I kissed her feather soft bare shoulders and she giggled. I went to stand up and she turned around and wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me close. I froze in my tracks to soak up her sweet little hug. She didn’t let go, so I rocked her back and forth while humming into her ear. She wasn’t in a hurry to run off and just seemed to want to soak up some mama time. I could have sat there all day and been happy as a clam.
I’m overwhelmed with gratitude today for such a precious little girl.