Lately I’ve had lots of up and downs. I was feeling pretty depressed for about 2 weeks straight. I couldn’t seem to get used to my job, I felt estranged from all of my friends, I didn’t have any motivation to keep my house in order (dishes, cleaning, laundry, grocery shopping), I felt fat and frumpy and overall gloomy.
Lately I’ve been learning more about life just through the circumstances I’ve been through, not a book or sermon or anything else which is uncommon for me. I’ve been noticing things about myself and about others. I’ve been getting a different perspective on things, maybe due to my getting older.
Lately I haven’t even been thinking much about my purpose in life. It used to consume me and frustrate me that I didn’t know what it was. I knew that God had given me a desire to have children and to be a godly wife and mother, but that doesn’t really seem possible right now, so I felt purposeless. I used to wrack my brain to come up with a purpose that I could adhere my life to while I’m waiting for what I really want. Now, just when I started chilling out about it, I feel like God has been giving me a peek at it. I’ll post more about that another time.
Lately I’ve been trying hard to stick to my “lifestyle change” I can’t say diet, because we all know those really don’t work in the long run. I’m great at dieting (I can get down 20 pounds to fit into a special occasion dress anytime) but I suck at keeping the weight off. I decided to have a goal to lose 2 lbs a week for 15 weeks and then keep it off….for good! Tomorrow will mark the end of week 3 and I’m only down 5 lbs, but I did cheat multiple times this weekend, so now I’m back on track and I hope I can keep losing. This is such a mental/emotional thing for me. I need to completely change the way I think about food. Ugh.
Lately I haven’t been posting much, but I’m hoping to get better at keeping up with this blog.
Lately I’ve been craving a warm weather vacation SO bad! I would love to take a cruise!!! I’ll just have to keep looking forward to spring.
I love your honesty. As I read your blog, I felt so proud to have such a wonderful, godly, insiteful daughter… I am soooo blessed!
It’s sunny and warm in Charlotte. You guys can come for a visit with us anytime. Free lodging, meals and entertainment. Love, Dad Gould
i’m sorry you’ve been having a hard time. me too kind of. new job too. i’ve prayed for you a couple times when i’ve thought about the commute. don’t let the e-mail i sent make you feel guilty, just come over :) love you and miss you.