It just figures that I’d pour my heart out about writing and then proceed to clam up for 4 days.
When I wrote that post, I knew I’d be afraid to follow it up with anything significant.
I almost didn’t share it, but then I was like, “I’ve been aching to write something real for months and now I’m not even going to publish it?!”
So I did.
Then I went silent for four days.
Just like I knew I would.
I kept writing in my head all day everyday. Just like always. I kept dreaming about writing and thinking about carving out time, but I didn’t do it.
I read some brilliant writing by my friend Katrina this week, and my heart reached right out of my chest toward her words. I could tell she poured her own heart onto the page and it was riveting.
Her voice is different than mine. It’s so beautiful. Heart-wrenching. Compelling.
I found myself longing to write like her. Desperately wanting to reach inside my own heart and pull out that kind of raw feeling and emotion.
I think I was equal parts jealous and inspired.
It’s my belief that God has given us each a unique story and voice.
Katrina’s belongs to her. She is hard-wired to share in the way that she does.
And I’m hard-wired to share the way I do.
I’m so grateful that she let me read her work. Getting to watch and cheer from the sidelines as someone does something they love and have been gifted to do is such an honor.
It’s a tremendous source of hope too.
When others live out of their passions, the rest of us can’t help but be stirred deep inside.
It’s why the Olympics are so captivating.
We become entranced as we watch people who have dedicated their entire lives to the sport they love. They give it everything they’ve got and it draws us in like quicksand.
It makes us wish we loved something that much.
I can’t help but think of Eric Liddell who said, “God made me fast. And when I run, I feel His pleasure.”
Let’s think about that…
God made me (blank) and when I (blank), I feel His pleasure.
What’s your blank?
I’m seeking out mine and praying that I have a better understanding of how and where to express it.
I think writing is part of it, but I know relationships and connecting with other people’s hearts is also a part. People are coming across my path left and right and we are connecting in relationship and it makes my heart sing.
I feel His pleasure when I connect at a heart level with other people.
I have this gut feeling that there is some kind of perfect storm involving writing, connecting, and helping people.
I’m desperately praying that God brings everything into clearer focus so I’m not so scattered.
I know it will take time. I’ll struggle to be quiet enough to hear His voice.
But I’m listening with all my heart.