Daily Rebecca » Page 2 of 240 » dishing up a little bit of everything.

Snow Way!

April 15th, 2014

“Snow way is there snow outside today!”

snow day

Yes.

Yes, there is.

snow day 2

After a glorious few days of sunshine and warm breezes, Michigan is currently sporting a layer of freezing white powder.

Admittedly, it’s got me down.

I woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning (not Andy’s side, just the figurative “grumpy side”) and I’ve been battling my inner grouch all day.

I’ve got a very full week ahead of me and it’s stressing me out. I still have the stupid cheek zits I complained about last month. They are still pissing me off. My mascara is clumpy and my clothes are getting tight because the scale is creeping up. I cried my eyes out during the worship set at church yesterday.  So moved by God’s goodness. Then today I’m inconsolably crabby. Every little thing is annoying me. The crumbs on the counter.  The drips that reappear as soon as I wipe them up. The size 8.5 expensive running shoes that felt great yesterday at the outlet mall but feel too narrow today. Thump.  Thump.  Thump.  Grace moving about the house as loudly as a 200lb man. Drip.  Drip.  Drip.  My nose beckoning for tissue every quarter of an hour. The grocery list.  The 40 bags in 40 days de-hoarding project at a stand still.

Sleepy eyes no matter how much rest I seem to get.

snow day 4

I’m blaming the snow.  Instead of myself.

Naturally.

You never knew I was so rational, did you?

Ha!


What’s Your (blank)?

April 12th, 2014

It just figures that I’d pour my heart out about writing and then proceed to clam up for 4 days.

When I wrote that post, I knew I’d be afraid to follow it up with anything significant.

I almost didn’t share it, but then I was like, “I’ve been aching to write something real for months and now I’m not even going to publish it?!”

So I did.

Then I went silent for four days.

Just like I knew I would.

I kept writing in my head all day everyday.  Just like always.  I kept dreaming about writing and thinking about carving out time, but I didn’t do it.

I read some brilliant writing by my friend Katrina this week, and my heart reached right out of my chest toward her words.  I could tell she poured her own heart onto the page and it was riveting.

Her voice is different than mine.  It’s so beautiful.  Heart-wrenching.  Compelling.

I found myself longing to write like her.  Desperately wanting to reach inside my own heart and pull out that kind of raw feeling and emotion.

I think I was equal parts jealous and inspired.

It’s my belief that God has given us each a unique story and voice.

Katrina’s belongs to her.  She is hard-wired to share in the way that she does.

And I’m hard-wired to share the way I do.

I’m so grateful that she let me read her work.  Getting to watch and cheer from the sidelines as someone does something they love and have been gifted to do is such an honor.

It’s a tremendous source of hope too.

When others live out of their passions, the rest of us can’t help but be stirred deep inside.

It’s why the Olympics are so captivating.

We become entranced as we watch people who have dedicated their entire lives to the sport they love.  They give it everything they’ve got and it draws us in like quicksand.

It makes us wish we loved something that much.

I can’t help but think of Eric Liddell who said, “God made me fast. And when I run, I feel His pleasure.”

Let’s think about that…

God made me (blank) and when I (blank), I feel His pleasure.

What’s your blank?

whats your blank

I’m seeking out mine and praying that I have a better understanding of how and where to express it.

I think writing is part of it, but I know relationships and connecting with other people’s hearts is also a part.  People are coming across my path left and right and we are connecting in relationship and it makes my heart sing.

I feel His pleasure when I connect at a heart level with other people.

I have this gut feeling that there is some kind of perfect storm involving writing, connecting, and helping people.

I’m desperately praying that God brings everything into clearer focus so I’m not so scattered.

I know it will take time.  I’ll struggle to be quiet enough to hear His voice.

But I’m listening with all my heart.


Caged

April 8th, 2014

Inside me there is this desire to write.

To harness all the passion, desire, and energy inside and force it into beautifully written words for the glory of God.

I want to unleash the fierce tiger inside the cage of my soul, but I’m scared.  I keep her locked up and, with white knuckles, I clutch the only key.

Instead of laying down quietly to sleep, the tiger is pacing the cage.  She pounces each time I entertain the idea of letting her out.

But each time, I hear the same lies swirling around me like leaves in the wind.  I don’t believe that what I have to say is worth reading.

I think so-and-so is already doing it better.  I think all the things I’m passionate about have already been said and said better than I could say them.

I assume everyone else has read all I’ve read and experienced all I’ve experienced and therefore already knows everything I’m excited to say.

They don’t.

Even if they do, they haven’t heard it my way.  In my voice.  With my flavor.

That could make all the difference.

Maybe God will give me a new thing to say.  Maybe I won’t just spit back what others have already said before.

Maybe He has a message for ME to share.

Maybe I’ll just dive in and start the only way I know how and maybe, just maybe, He’ll take over and write things I could never imagine.

The only way to know is to do it.  To stop fearing and talking myself out of it and instead reach with trembling  hands into my pocket and pull out the key to unlock the cage.

Let that wild tiger run free.

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free.  (Galations 5:1)

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...