I sat down with my laptop the other night. I really wanted to blog and I’ve had no shortage of things on my mind, but try as I could, no words would come out of my fingertips.
I kept staring a the blank screen and the blinking cursor and I had nothing.
So, I closed the computer and turned my attention to the movie my girls were watching.
As much as I may fail to blog consistently, I don’t fail to read blogs consistently. I’m a huge fan of Newsify, my blog reader app, and it keeps me up-to-date on the 75+ blogs I follow.
A blogging friend recently shared a post of the various “ings” she and her family have been up to lately and I immediately knew that using her prompts would allow me to crank out a blog post and hopefully break my writers block.
So here we go…
Making: a bunch of watercolor paintings and a number of perler bead crafts. I wrote a manifesto for 2016 (I’m so emo, I know) and one element of it was valuing and prioritizing creativity. So far, this has been a year of more creative expression than any year prior and I consider that a major win! I’m still nowhere near where I’d like to be with the watercolor painting, but I’m committed to painting often with the hope that I must improve with lots of practice :)
The perler beads were a random purchase because I thought Grace would enjoy them. She has! They are too small and tiring for Avery, so she usually get about 1/8 of the way through finishing a piece before she gives up :( They have larger beads and I really ought to consider getting a set of them to see if they are a better fit for Avery. Also, I’m not very good at ironing them together. I seem to push too hard and iron too long, but I’m always nervous they won’t stick together well enough if I don’t.
Cooking: lots of random easy stuff. I’ve been really uninspired in the kitchen lately. I want to be cooking healthy, Whole30ish meals but then I’m getting tired of many of my standby recipes. I need to branch out and make new things or make the old things a new way, but I’ve got a bit of the winter blues and I just don’t care about meal time like I used to. We’ve had tacos, pot roast, white bean soup, pre-cooked (Whole30 compliant!) sliced beef (from Costco’s refrigerator section) served with roasted red skinned potatoes and garlic bacon Brussels sprouts, and a hearty dose of eating out too.
Drinking: not enough water. I’m normally a water girl all day long, but lately I’ve been resisting my normal heavy load of H2O. I seem to want coffee or tea over regular water most of the time. Probably due to the brutally cold weather we had recently. Also drinking wine at night..these winter days are getting me down.
Reading: Jen Hatmaker’s For The Love which was such a refreshing read for this 30-something control freak. Having the honest and funny perspective of a woman who crossed 40 and can offer some perspective to those of us heading that direction, was awesome. Plus, being reminded to love, really love, ALL kinds of people – especially those whom the church at large generally turns a blind eye to, was convicting.
And then there was this book.
What can I even say about it??? I was completely overcome by the stories of injustice contained in this book. I was also overwhelmed by the gloriously beautiful work of Bryan Stevenson, a lawyer who has devoted his life to advocating for the poor and the oppressed and the “least of these” that Jesus talks about. I think this book is a must read for every single person in the world. My perspective has been changed forever and I’m grateful that Bryan wrote this book and shared these heart-wrenching tales with the world.
Wanting: SPRING!!!!! Also to have more patience with the kids. It’s hard, they are so wonderful and amazing and draining all at once. The girls are finally playing better which I LOVE, but Drew is in a hard phase and he’s mostly getting into mischief or walking around whining/crying. Avery isn’t sleeping through the night lately and it’s KILLING ME. Lack of sleep is my kryptonite. Of all the parenting challenges, lack of sleep is by far the hardest for me. Last night I went to sleep around midnight (stupid, I know) and I was woken FIVE times between then and 3:45am. Avery was crying for water, then crying for no reason, then standing at the side of my bed, then crying from the couch where I put her, then telling me she was going to puke. Lord have mercy! About 3:45am, Drew started crying. Sometimes he’ll cry out just enough to wake me, but then he goes back to sleep. Not last night. The crying continued to amp up and I ultimately realized I had to get him up.
There I was, two out of three children AWAKE at 3:45am. I’d had virtually no sleep at this point. Grace and Andy were fast asleep, so I had to keep the two emotional young ones quiet and happy. It was ridiculous.
I know this too shall pass, but oh my goodness it’s hard.
Looking: at rental properties on Trulia.com constantly. It’s too early to find anything we’ll actually live in, but I’m addicted to looking at rental options in various cities, school districts, etc. The phase we’re in right now is basically “hurry up and wait” since it’s too soon to make any plans. I vacillate between forgetting about it all and living my life per usual, and getting caught up in wondering and worrying about where we will end up and if we’ll choose something we end up not liking.
Playing: Adele’s album on repeat. The girls love it and frequently ask to listen to “Hello From The Other Side” so they can sing along and dance around the living room. I’m a fan of the album too, but I’m starting to grow tired of hearing it over and over. I’m even tired of the other music I’m generally into…I’d love to find a new artist/band to listen to on repeat.
Wasting: money on eating out. My lack of inspiration in the kitchen, coupled with Andy’s light schedule this month and the dreary winter days, means we itch to get out of the house and that often means going out to eat. I can hardly see my Whole30 lifestyle in the rearview and the scale continues to creep up which makes me depressed. That makes me want to eat more. It’s a vicious cycle that I feel completely unmotivated to break out of. I guess I had better make peace with my muffin top and double chin…
Wishing: I wanted to eat healthy again and make exercise a priority. I love the feeling of being active and eating right. It gives me joy and energy and peace. I feel like a better wife and mom and friend when I’m treating my body kindly. I WISH I would decide to discipline myself to get back into that lifestyle.
Enjoying: the Armor of God Bible study by Pricilla Shirer. I’m no stranger to bible study books, but this one has been particularly good. It’s a daily homework format that also has a weekly discussion element and a video teaching component. Pricilla is a dynamic but sincere speaker and I get excited listening to her preach. I just finished leading a table of ladies at my church through this study and I’m starting up another round of it at home with some close friends I just did another study with. I’m looking forward to seeing how it impacts me this time around.
Smelling: poop. All day. Every day. Drew is pooping about 4-6 times each day. Avery is good for one or two and so is Grace. NONE of them can wipe their own poopy bottom yet, so coupled with my own, ahem, movements we’re looking at having to deal with about 12 poopy butts a day! I’m over it.
Wearing: pajamas and stretch pants most of the time. The weight gain has made many of my cute clothes rather uncomfortable, so I stick with casual comfortable stuff most of the time. Grace loves to get dressed in some kind of summer outfit (tank top and short skirt) on a daily basis, but Avery is content to stay in jammies. That ususally means she and I are in jammies all day on days there’s nowhere to go.
Feeling: like this post has gone on long enough. Like it had a pretty whiny tone. Like I am in some kind of winter funk and I need to snap out of it.
That’s all for now. I’m hoping this post broke through some of my writer’s block and I can get back to writing more regularly now…