Remember when I bragged about how great potty training was going?
Yeah, well maybe I shouldn’t have jinxed myself because the last 48 hours have sucked.
Accidents right and left, tantrums about having to sit on the potty, requests to wear a diaper…
I’m so frustrated.
I’m normally a very patient parent. It has honestly surprised me that I have such a high tolerance for toddler antics and general day to day crap. I can usually navigate it all very calmly.
Yesterday that was NOT the case.
It’s comical to me that it happened to be yesterday that I was on the verge of my own tantrum all day. The few days before yesterday had been SO GREAT.
Avery has been eating well and sleeping great. Grace has been really well behaved and was using the potty like a champ. I have been able to coordinate the girls’ afternoon naps to give me time to do laundry, clean the house, make banana bread, blog and even take naps of my own. I’ve even gotten out of the house with them both in tow which has allowed me to run errands and grocery shop.
I may have been giving myself a giant pat on the back for being so awesome ;)
I spent all day yesterday choking on a big fat piece of humble pie.
Just when we think we have it all together things tend to fall apart, don’t they?
It started when I asked Grace to try sitting on the potty and she cried in protest. I assumed she didn’t have to go, so I sat down to feed Avery. Right in the middle of the feeding I heard Grace run out of her room crying.
She peed her pants.
Then she tracked it out of her room and all the way down the hall.
I had JUST asked her if she had to go and she threw a fit about sitting on the potty, but then she walked into her room and peed her pants.
What the heck?!
I literally stood in the hall and prayed out loud that God would give me patience and help me not to explode.
Meanwhile Grace was standing in the bathroom sobbing. I made her take off her wet underwear and sit on her potty which of course infuriated her.
I still had Avery latched onto me and I had to figure out what to do first. Clean Grace up? Clean up the giant puddle and trail of pee?
I just kept praying over and over that God would calm me down. It seemed like I was having a level 10 reaction to a level 2 problem.
That’s never a good sign.
I decided to unlatch poor Avery mid-feed and lay her down while I cleaned up the pee and then cleaned up Grace.
I was still so angry.
Any patience I had for Grace or the potty training process had completely vanished and I was an irritable, short-tempered mess.
For the sake of my sanity, I put Grace in a pull-up after I got her cleaned up.
But I was still angry.
We had to run errands in the afternoon and even though we got everything done that needed to be done, we ran out of time to go to the mall for me to shop for a few things I wanted.
I was on a mission and I had zero tolerance for any push-back from Grace. I lost my temper when she cried about her car seat straps bugging her (which she does every.single.time. she gets in the car). I didn’t want to play when we got home and I was so frustrated with everything that I withdrew emotionally and barely survived until my sister came to babysit last night.
I’ve been trying to make sense of it all and I’m coming to realize that God wants me to lean on Him for my strength. I’m an independent person who almost always thinks I can do everything on my own. If things get out of hand, I just try harder and I can usually get back in control.
That’s not how God wants me to live.
He wants me to lean on Him and turn to Him for strength, patience and grace. To be the parent I want to be requires that I seek Him when things get tough. It does NOT mean that I dig my heels in and try harder on my own.
I must believe deep down that God doesn’t really care about the mundane problems of a stay at home mom, but that’s simply not true.
He says that His grace is sufficient for me and that His power is made perfect in my weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9).
We are promised that our God will supply all our need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:19).
- His grace is sufficient
- His power is made perfect in my weakness
- He will supply all my need
How easy it is to forget all of that.
How stubborn I am that I always want to do it my way.
How great is my God who loves me anyway.