Do you ever stop and think to yourself, “Wow, I’m an actual grown up”?

You know…an adult.  A contributing member of society.  With a marriage license and a mortgage.

And a kid.

Sometimes the thought of this is baffling.  Like I’m still a 19 year old girl, I’m just trapped in this 31 year old body.

I really should have appreciated the 19 year old body more when I had it.  Hindsight can be a real kicker.

I guess a lot of adults probably never have this ‘epiphany’ about being all grown up, but it totally blindsides me once in a while.

Like, “How did I get here so fast?”

Wasn’t I just suffering through college and nursing the wounds of a breakup?  Furthermore, wasn’t I just going on high school ski trips and passing notes with my friends?

Here I am, 31 years old.  I have a husband, a child, a full time “big girl job”, a house, 2 cars, a bunch of furniture and electronics.  I have life insurance and a mortgage and an HSA account.

I vote and pay taxes and worry about the state of teenagers in this day and age.  I stay at home on Friday nights and watch Netflix with Andy and a bottle of pinot noir.

When I step back to look all around, I’m proud of myself.

In the throws of the daily grind it’s hard to look up and see it all as a collection of hard work and achievement, but it is.

I didn’t stumble into any of it, I worked hard for it.

I screwed up and had setbacks and made poor decisions along the way, but I made it my mission to learn and grow despite all the crap that happened.

I used to wonder how my parents had the answers to so many random questions.  I couldn’t fathom how they knew so many things about so many things.

Now I get it.  They lived things.  They tried stuff and screwed up.  They took detours and got lost.  Then they found their path and they remembered what they learned along the way.  This process put small deposits in their memory banks and those funds were ripe for the picking when I was asking all sorts of questions.

Some people look back on their teenage years as if they were the best ones.

“Ah, to be young again.”

The whole world was your oyster and the potential was palpable.

I had really, really wonderful high school years.  A fantastic group of friends, a great neighborhood, a wonderful youth group and lots of awesome opportunities were a winning combination for me.  I was truly blessed that the majority of my adolescence was fun and happy.

But, I think I like being a grown up better.

I’ve got some of life’s really tough lessons under my belt.  I’ve grown out of some bad habits.  I’ve reaped the reward of working hard in high school and also college.  I don’t get so many zits.  I’m more confident and content.  I’ve learned that it’s not about popularity or having the best toys.  I’m less impulsive and more responsible.  I’m less scared and more willing to take risks.  I’m not afraid to say what I really think and be who I am even if it ruffles some feathers.

My 30′s so far are better than my 20′s were, and I’m looking fondly ahead to my 40′s because I know they hold their own special gems.

I’m not overly concerned about wrinkles or sagging.  The only thing I’m afraid of is becoming stagnant or thinking that I have it all figured out.

The older I get the more I realize how little I know.

Growing in wisdom and love is the carrot I hope to keep chasing for decades to come.

Cheers to getting old!

We got our first significant snow last night.

I’ve got to admit that there was something peaceful and pretty about it.

Andy and I snuggled on the couch last night watching How I Met Your Mother episodes on Netflix while the landscape outside our front window became whiter and whiter.

One of my favorite things about a fresh snowfall is how light the sky looks from the reflection of the white, snow-covered ground.

At the risk of sounding cheesy, there’s something magical about it.

This morning after breakfast, Andy went out to shovel our driveway and sidewalk lest our fine city slap us with a citation.

Yes, we’ve been cited for an overly long, lush lawn and they hand out tickets if you don’t clear your snowy walkways soon enough too.

And no, I don’t live in a fancy suburb so I’m not sure why they make such a fuss.

Grace has been suffering from a bit of cabin fever, so I decided to bundle her up and take her out into the snow for a while.

After breaking into a full body sweat just getting her boots, snow pants, mittens, coat and hat on, we were ready to go.  I had flashbacks of the mom in A Christmas Story when she was turning Randy into a mummy before he walked to school.  ”Mom, I can’t put my arms down!”

We headed out the side door and I set Grace onto the driveway.  Normally she’s a mover and a shaker and can’t be bothered with sitting still, but she stood there in one place and didn’t move.

I’m not sure whether her boots felt funny or she was overly bundled, but it was like pulling teeth getting her to walk!

I finally coaxed her into walking down the driveway with me but as soon as I let go over her hand she stopped walking and just stood there.

It was too funny!

I wanted to see what would happen if I set her down on the snowy lawn, and when I did she just stood there.  I pleaded with her to walk over to me and when she finally did, she totally face-planted right into the snow!

Poor thing!  Her face was covered in snow and she was freaked out.

After picking her up and dusting her off, we moved back onto the pavement where she could at least keep her balance.

My little adventurer isn’t so sure of the snow just yet.  Maybe she’ll like it better when we take her sledding tomorrow!

…is that people (like my sister) skip recipe posts.

Well, let me say that I usually talk about stuff before I post the recipe so skipping these posts may be a bad idea.

I mean, who knows, maybe I’ll hide my first giveaway in a recipe post and you’d never know it?!

Not that I’ve ever given anything away on this ole blog, but it could happen.

And when it does, I’d totally put it in a recipe post.  Ha!

Ok, ok.

So here’s the scoop.

I went to the dermatologist before work today to get my “official” patch test applied.  And, even though I intended to get up, shower and eat breakfast before my appointment, I somehow ended up sleeping late and having only enough time to throw on my glasses, some clean clothes and run out the door.

Good thing the doctor’s office is only 3 minutes away.

And, this is totally my M.O.  I’m working on being more organized, but I’m not there yet.

Except at work.  Somehow I manage to be totally organized there.  Weird.

So I get the patch test applied and I realize that there’s no showering for 48 hours and I showed up to the appointment un-showered.

::sad trombone::

C’est la vie.  I’ll sponge bathe like I’m 93 and I’ll be just fine.

But, after the doctor’s appointment and half a workday, I gobbled up a delicious lunch.  It just happened to be leftovers from Sunday night’s dinner:

Spiced Grilled Chicken and Veggie Pockets
(adapted from Rachel Ray’s 365: No Repeats cookbook)

You can obviously see the band aid rashes! If you look carefully you can see the hand soap rash on the second row, second patch from the left.

• My weight is gradually coming down after the binge that was Christmas and New Years.  I’m down 1.5 pounds from that peak…thank God!

• One of my favorite bloggers had a post about contentmentthis week and it reminded me how glad I am to have that word as one of my 2012 words to live by.

• Grace’s language skills are developing more and more each day!  It’s so exciting to hear her say new things and try to communicate with us using words rather than tantrums.  Yay for words!  My favorites right now are “Bible” and “shoes.”  Girl’s got her priorities straight!

• We still have our LIVE Christmas tree up.  It’s not completely dried out and we love having it around, so it’s here until at least Tuesday night which is when we take the trash out.

• I’ve been doing the January Photo A Day challenge on Instagram and having fun with it!  If you’re on Instagram you can follow me to check it out.  I’m rgould726 and here are some of my favorite’s so far:

Day 12 – Closeup

Day 11 – Where You Sleep

Day 10 – Childhood

Day 5 – Something You Wore

• I normally get SAD (seasonal affective disorder) this time of year, but so far I’m feeling pretty good.  It’s still fairly early in the winter to really make a determination, but I’m hopeful that I can stay positive till Spring!  A trip to Vegas this month for work probably won’t hurt either :)

• We re-arranged the furniture in our bedroom and Grace’s bedroom and I’m loving the change!  Both rooms feel more spacious which is amazing since we live in a Cracker Jack box.  

• The bedroom switcheroo inspired me to update an old family mirror that I inherited.  (Being a hoarder I pretty much take every family relic that’s offereed to me.)  It’s a huge, gold framed mirror that hung in my mother’s childhood home and was passed down to her brother (my late Uncle Jim).  Check out the before and afters:

BEFORE

AFTER

When I posted these pictures I was thinking how they are similar to the weight loss before and after pictures we all see in advertisements.  The before picture has a slouchy, no makeup, sad face woman and the after picture is the same woman with her hair done, makeup on, giant smile standing on the beach in her hot pink bikini.  Except in this case the mirror was dirty against a garage backdrop versus clean and sparkly on the bedroom wall.  LOL

So enough about me.  What have you been up to so far this year??

Last week at work we had meetings that included our entire staff who are usually spread out across the country.  I love these twice a year meetings because it gives me face time with the people I interact with everyday but hardly ever see.

Just like getting a behind the screens look at our customers changed my mind about them, spending time with my out-of-town colleagues changed my perspective too.  I even found that being face to face with my local coworkers changed my perspective.

Last week everyone flew into Michigan from around the country and met up at a nearby Marriott.  It was a really great week of hanging out, learning, Q&A, team building, eating, chatting, having fun together and catching up.

The theme for the week was Perception.  

“Perception is Reality” -Lee Atwater

No matter what you think about the validity of that idea, it’s safe to say that we all have different perceptions of the things around us.  Most of the time we’re pretty convinced that our perception is right.

Today, more than maybe ever before, I realize how far from the truth my perceptions can be.

It’s so easy to make a snap judgment about a person based on our limited interactions with them.   But do we really know who they are? What makes them tick?  What’s important to them?  What’s happening in their personal life?  Do they act the same way at home as they do at work?  Is their online persona an accurate reflection of their true self?

How often do we read someones Facebook status and think that they are dramatic or whiny?  Does a tweet ever come across as insensitive or braggy?  Have you ever read a person’s blog and thought they lived a totally charmed life?

I’ve decided to start taking a step back to realize that my perception could be totally off.

Maybe someone is going through a really rough phase of life and they don’t mean to be whiny, they just need to put their feelings out there.  Maybe someone has experienced a victory and they’re so excited to share it that they don’t realized they’re coming across as braggy.  Perhaps a person’s family has weathered a few big blows but it’s just too personal to blog about in real time so they come across as having all together when in fact things are barely holding together.

This is particularly true in the online community.  It’s equal parts awesome and dangerous.

When Grace was just a baby and I was seriously struggling as a working mom, I found so much solace in the working mom blogs I read everyday.  In my real life I felt like the only one out there who had to juggle the demands of a job with the responsibilities of being a new mother.  Turns out there’s a whole support network of working moms online.  Reading about their daily routines, struggles and victories was immeasurably encouraging to me in those early months.

I’ve got to admit that the same awesome online community has also lured out the ugly green monster in me from time to time.

You know him…envy.

Most people want to capture and remember the best parts of their days and weeks by immortalizing them on their blogs.  They aren’t usually going to take lots of pics of their crying toddler or messy house.  It does happen from time to time, but for the most part we want to document the good stuff.

This makes it easy for others to get jealous of seemingly perfect lives.

I know I’ve checked out the charming house, perfect outfit and adorable child of one of my favorite working mom bloggers and thought, “wow, must be nice to have it all together.”

But guess what?

She doesn’t have it all together because none of us do.  Not me, not the bloggers that I read or the people that I work with.

I don’t have some profound ending for this post.  Just a challenge to myself to remember that my perceptions are not always right. 

Food for thought.

That’s how long I have to wait before showering.  Yuck.

You may remember that my face started falling apart a while back and I tried a bunch of hippie home remedies and ended up having to go to the Dermatologist after all.

Just like the chelitis situation, the doctor suggested that this problem was contact dermatitis.

That’s a fancy way of saying that my skin breaks out when coming in contact with some mystery ingredient that must be in the products that I use.

As much as I know that this is a better diagnosis than some kind of crazy rash or fungus would be, I was just hoping to pop a pill or get some ointment and call it a day.

But no, the doctor recommended a patch test.  Again.

I saw him in August for the chelitis but was too lazy to do the patch test so I just used the ointment to get some relief and cancelled my follow up appointment so I wouldn’t have to tell him I ignored his suggestion.

Real mature, I know.

Well, when my face started falling apart and I wanted to gouge my eyes out just so they wouldn’t itch anymore, I knew I had to face the music and go back to the doctor.

Turns out he either doesn’t really give a crap or chose to ignore the fact that I bailed on my last follow up appointment because he never mentioned it.  I was relieved.

After looking at my eyes, temples, upper lip and ears and scribbling a few notes on my chart, he dropped the bomb that this was contact dermatitis.  Again.

My look of utter disdain was probably overwhelmingly obvious. 

Just give me a pill and make it go away before Christmas so I can wear makeup thankyouverymuch!

Being the reputable, upscale, suburban dermatologist that he is, he came through with a heroic gesture:

A Medrol Dosepak (steroids)
Eye ointment (steroids)
Face cream (steroids)

all of which saved the day and cleared things up in a jiffy.

I figured the least I could do in return is the stupid patch test. 

Basically it involves exposing my skin to all of the products I use on a regular basis.  They are applied with band aids and left for 48 hours (no bathing) and then they are removed and the skin is monitored for 48 hours.

The theory is that if I’m allergic to something I’ll have a breakout in that 4 day period and we can narrow down which ingredient might be the culprit.

I’m going back for 3 visits next week so that the doctor can do an official test which means that this week is my window for doing the home test and today was the day.

I took a nice long shower to get squeaky clean before my 48 hour bathing strike and then Dr. Andy helped me set it all up.

The Suspects

The Line-up

The Rap Sheet (I added #17 after the photo was taken)

Dr. Andy hard at work assembling the samples

1. The extra band aid over 1 and 7 is for reinforcement 2. Yes, that’s a healthy dose of “granny hang” you see…I need to get to the gym STAT!

The rest of the perps lined up on the other arm

::hangs head in shame::

The holidays reeked havoc on my weight loss efforts.  After weeks of being disciplined and feeling fantastic you’d think I would have done a better job getting through the holidays, but I didn’t.

Tables of delicious food at party after party were apparently too much for me to resist.

Check out the entire post for all of Sarah’s awesome thoughts on the matter.

Discipline is definitely not one of my strong points.  I’m more of a “run hard for short distances” kind of gal.  You know, give something 110% for about 30 minutes and then fizzle out.  Make lofty goals and then poop out after a week.

My husband, on the other hand, is who you will see when you look discipline up in the dictionary.  He’s a “slow and steady wins the race” kind of guy.

The tortoise to my hare, if you will.

I’m equal parts inspired and intimidated by his discipline.  Mostly inspired.

This year I want to learn discipline across the board.

I want it to transform how I talk, eat, keep house, live out my faith, exercise, think and approach life.

So, I’m not going to resolve to lose 20 pounds or become more organized.

I’m going to make 2012 a year characterized by joy, contentment and discipline.

I’d love to know what you’re gonna work on this year?