Today was one of those days. You know the kind.
Computer issues at every turn, getting everyone’s voice mail messages when I really needed to actually speak to them, making all kinds of plans and then having to re-do them all because I was given wrong information.
That’s just a challenging day at the office though, right?
Let’s add another layer shall we?
1 challenging workday + 13 month old baby girl – 1 afternoon nap = 1 stressed-out mama
How’s that for some real life math.
I missed Grace so badly while I was in San Diego that it physically hurt. I’ve been soaking up every second I’ve had with her since I got home. She totally lights up my life with her spunky personality and sense of adventure.
She’s such a good girl. We worked hard to get her on a good schedule and it’s been a real blessing for all of us. She sleeps great at night and takes 2 great naps. Well, most of the time anyway…
Today?
Today it took her an hour to fall asleep during her morning nap. So, even though I was able to work without her underfoot, I couldn’t fully get in the zone because I could hear her intermittently talking, crying and playing for an hour before she passed out. Ugh.
She ate a nice lunch after her morning nap and played really well by herself. We streamed Sesame Street on the Xbox thanks to our increasingly more expensive Netflix subscription. (total fail Netflix!) and Grace had a ball watching Big Bird, Elmo and Oscar the Grouch.
Work continued to be hectic and my network continued to give me problems. I’d get 2 steps ahead and then get knocked 3 steps back by other people’s blunders. I kept trying to keep my cool, but my temperature was on the rise.
No problem…nap time is on the horizon and then I’ll get in the zone.
Afternoon nap time rolled around and, in typical fashion, Grace gave all the warning signs: fussy, rubbing eyes, sucking fingers: overall crankiness.
Like clockwork I laid her down, turned on the fan and closed the door.
Deep breath in, deep breath out.
I can do this.
I started plugging away at my growing to-do list. Willing myself into the zone. But there is crying, then silence, then giggling, then talking followed by more crying and silence.
Lather, rinse, repeat.
Dear sweet baby Jesus make my baby fall asleep!
Alas, after almost 2 hours of her antics, we realized the nap was not going to happen. By this time Andy was home from work and could play defense while I worked on wrapping up my workday with a pretty bow.
There was no pretty bow. Things just didn’t come together. Sure, I made good progress. I accomplished things all day long. I put forth a quality product when it would have been so much easier to cut corners, but it didn’t leave me feeling satisfied like it often does.
It left me feeling tired and frustrated and behind the 8 ball. I felt really overwhelmed by the situation I’m in.
Alas, this is where I’m at. It’s not changing anytime soon. I’ve got to learn to weather a storm one day and step back out with a brave face and positive attitude the next day.
Tomorrow is a new day. Full of new chaos and new obstacles, but also of another chance to do my best and feel proud of myself.
And I’m going to hit the ground running.
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Aunt Becky says
Incredible Rebecca! I wish I could send it to everyone working woman I know. God has blessed you with a great gift. Thanks for sharing it. Love you so…AB
Mom K says
I have one huge word to say about this post – PROUD!!!!
I love and adore you Rebecca….
Mai says
what is your work? just curious
Andy says
You are an amazing woman and I am so grateful for how hard you work every day so that I can focus so much on school! Thanks for being a hybrid worker-mom, which must feel like having split personalities most days. I am so proud to be walking this journey with you love!!