I can’t believe this is my first post of 2011. As much as I LOVE to follow blogs, you’d think I’d be better at keeping up with my own. I’m hoping to get back in the habit, so we’ll see how it goes.
I haven’t really given up anything for Lent since I was about 7 years old, but this year I felt like I should. We were at church two weeks ago and the pastor challenged us to think of something to give up for the 40 day period of Lent and to pray during that time that God would give us His heart for others.
I have been praying that prayer on my own for a while now. I am so self-consumed and I just really want my heart to beat for the things that God cares about. When the pastor set out the Lent challenge (for lack of a better word) it resonated with me.
My first thought was to give up Facebook. I must admit I’m pretty addicted. It’s easy to access on my awesome iPhone, so it makes it hard to stay away from it. That thought didn’t really “scare” me though. I wanted to give up something that would really feel like a sacrifice. I thought about giving up alcohol and that started to make me nervous. I’m not an alcoholic or anything, but after a long work week, I really look forward to beer on Friday night!
I decided to take a few days to think about it.
I’ve been pretty miserable since after Christmas. The weather really gets me down and I’ve been having a hard time swallowing my current circumstances especially as Grace is changing and growing more each day. I just want to spend every minute with her and I can’t. When all of this really gets me down, I medicate with food. I justify what I’m eating or how much I’m eating by telling myself it’s the least I can do after such a crappy day. And I’m not exactly chowing down on fruits and veggies. It tends to be carbs, dairy and sugar. Those 3 food groups are like the big, warm grandmothers of comfort food. When you stuff your face with that stuff you really feel like you’re getting hugged from the inside out…
Until you’re done. Then you just feel gross. Full, tired, guilty and down. It’s a vicious cycle.
So that’s what I’ve given up. For 40 days I am not eating:
Today is day 4 and so far it’s not as bad as I thought. This weekend will be tough because we are going to 2 parties and I’m sure there will be a lot of temptation.
Physically I feel much better. I’m not bloated or sluggish and I think I have more energy.
I’ll keep you posted along the way. I’m really hoping for spiritual change, not just physical (although I wouldn’t mind dropping a few lbs along the way).